I met her when she came to a workshop I was conducting on “Self-esteem and the Art of Being.” She was thirty-two years old, pretty, and worked as a receptionist in a law firm. Early in life she had decided that she knew what she was—“a bad girl.” How else could she explain the endless screaming [...]

Newsweek: Selfishness isn’t usually the word we use to describe love. Of all the nonsense written about love, none is more absurd than the notion that ideal love is selfless. To love is to see myself in you and to wish to celebrate myself with you. What I love is the embodiment of my values in [...]

“The passionate attraction between man and woman that is known as romantic love can generate the most profound ecstasy. It can also generate, when frustrated, unutterable suffering. Yet for all its intensity, the nature of that attachment is little understood. To some, who associate “romantic” with “irrational,” romantic love is a temporary neurosis, an emotional [...]

“Romantic Love” evokes associations of valentines, violins, and soft music and knights in shining armor—for some people.For others, it raises the question “Aren’t we too sophisticated for that today?” It is unfortunate that a few popular symbols of what people like to call “romance” have replaced the psychological reality of romantic love. We need to think [...]